It is true that children suck the IQ points right out of your head. (And keep them for themselves.) It is also true that they think they are smarter than you. (And, they probably are.) I know my youngest makes me feel like a moron half the time. He makes me look like one too...especially when he decides to take pictures of mommy with mommy's smartphone. Or when he figures out how to download accessories for his tiny angry feathered friends and whatnot, and later I get the bill.
When my smartphone is not in my kindergartner's hands, it is helping me compensate for all those stolen IQ points. Smart phones have the brains I used to have B.C. Before Children. They can pull out a synonym at a moment's notice so I can casually, but smugly, wow my friends with a fifty cent word. Smart phones can remember every single grocery store loyalty card number I've got. The dollar amount left on my Starbucks card for those desperate Pumpkin Spice Latte mornings. The name of that guy in that movie with that thing who used to date that girl.
Let me introduce you to a few of my synthetic lobes.
This is CardStar. He remembers every single grocery store reward card, retail VIP program card, frequent user card, and loyalty program card known to man. You just type in the name of the store (or choose from the extensive list), type in your card number, and BAM! he makes a barcode that looks just like the back of your 36 kazillion plastic cards that you now no longer have to carry in your purse. Check-out ladies can just scan that barcode right off your phone and be impressed with your pretty princess smarts. And that makes me not only smart about saving money, it makes my purse weigh a lot less. Bonus.
IMDb (Internet Movie Database) helps you impress your non-impressable teenager by being able to name every single movie Arnold Schwarzenegger has even been in. You can also prove you are right again and again when your husband insists he knows the name of that actress, and you know he is WRONG! You can pull up your friend Tina on IMDb and show your kid that "Yes, mommy has friends that are movie stars. See?" IMDb lets you remove all that entertainment trivia junk from your already cluttered mind, and stores it for you. Right on your smart phone. So you're free to try to remember important things like what time carpool is. And no more waking up in the middle of the night trying to remember the correct order of the Star Wars movies. Gah. Who knows how much sleep we've all lost over that one.
The smartest thing my smart phone does for me is increase my vocabulary. And then allow me to lord it over my brother-in-law. Words With Friends is THE ONLY game I play, and I play for blood. It's one-on-one digital scrabble, and at any given time I have about 18 games going. I cannot wait for the annual Christmas family reunion where I can remind said brother-in-law of the time I broke 500. I'm now just waiting for the day I can correctly use Qat in a sentence.
I could go on about the pictures of bottles of wine I've snapped with apps so I'd remember them the next day. The recipes apps I've downloaded. The babysitter, back-up babysitter, and back-up back-up babysitters' numbers that are the gold stored on my Fort Knox smartphone. There's even a free Android app every day on Amazon here. It's my window to the world, which I can shut if I feel like it. It's my life line. But mostly it's my brain. Smartphones can make for smarter moms. And I am *still* smart enough to admit I need all the help I can get.
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Mommy's Wish List Disclosure: Compensation was provided by US Cellular via Glam Media. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of U.S. Cellular®.
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