It's come down to this: when you reach age 46, getting from morning to evening is a challenge. In more ways than one. I'd prefer it was still an adventure, a thrill, a whirlwind of excitement and beauty. I'd prefer I didn't have to give myself prizes for making it thru the day.
Gone are the days of staying out playing til 2am, sleeping for 4 hours, chugging down a couple of expressos and a bagel and heading off to the agency to draw with markers and twist the English language until it screams "Headline!" There are no more three martini lunches. There are no more weekends of gardening for 12 hours straight and then sitting on your back porch admiring your handiwork. With a glass of wine. While the sun sets. Reflecting on the wonder and beauty of your life, while crocheting another afghan like the one you're wrapped in, the repetitive gestures of the yarn and needle mimicking your calm breathing and the soothing cicadas.
There are no sushi lunches out. Or photo shoots out of town with celebrities. There's no job, for that matter. There are a lot more pain-relievers and sleep-aids. There are barking dogs and snoring husbands. It takes a lot more effort to get out of bed in the morning, even when you've been horizontal for ten hours. And my garden looks more like the post-apocalyptic set of a Terminator movie. My life is full of laundry, sticker charts, and nothingness.
I live in this new reality. And, since I don't like it very much, I've created a sticker chart of my own to make it from morning til night without losing my marbles. For all my little "wins", I reward myself for surviving this exile from what used to be my life.
My Sticker Chart:
For getting out of bed, I reward myself with a hot shower using stupidly expensively shampoo and conditioner. Because it makes my hair straight. And we all know that straight hair makes girls with curly hair very happy.
For doing a fabulous job making everyone in my family's lunches in the morning, I reward myself with the most nutritious and tasty breakfast I can think of: oatmeal, with added Walnuts, Blueberries, Apricots, Cherries, Ground Flax Seed, Protein Powder, and Cream. Real cream. Ok, except for the cream, I'm doing pretty good with the nutrition. And sure, it takes a good twenty minutes to chop all that up in tiny pieces and put it all together. But it keeps me going all morning. There may still be an expresso involved with this breakfast, but now it's tempered with some fancy creamer, or syrup. And, I can sip it slow, instead of chugging it, because really, there's I've got no where to go.
For persevering with the never-ending avalanche of laundry, chauffeuring, cooking, field tripping; for dealing with the fixers, the deliverers, the givers and the takers; I reward myself with some time off every Wednesday morning to meet with my two friends, Sheri and Chris, at Bolsa Mercado for coffee, kolaches, and kvetching. It is somehow less miserable to be miserable with someone else, isn't it?
For making it thru another weekend, aka "Why can't we have school seven days a week?" I reward myself with Crazy Bobby Monday. USA Network shows a marathon of Law & Order CI, and I watch every. single. one. all. day. Crazy Bobby makes Monday bearable, delightful even.
I'm still working on missing the drawing with markers, and the twisting of the English language parts. Words with Friends daily helps a bit. Even though I lose on a regular basis, I've rewarded myself with an iPad to play it on, since at 46, I'm now blind as a bat. And Instead of getting to draw all day for a living, I reward myself for remembering to pick up my kids at school by driving by the Sweater Bombs in my neighborhood. They are pretty, creative, and unique. Something I used to be. And just seeing them helps me make it til bedtime.
And then I get to wake up and do it all again tomorrow! *yeah*
The benefits of a warm, filling bowl of oatmeal can keep you going all morning long.
Mommy's Wish List Disclosure: Compensation was provided by Quaker via Glam Media. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and are not indicative of the opinions or positions of Quaker.
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